Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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