We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
