he thought i was a dude.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
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I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
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just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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