And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize