Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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