Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
