Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
