Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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