Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
