shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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