Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i just had sex bonerless
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
