wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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