I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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