just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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