I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
