I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize