Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
