I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
