what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
