just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
