you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
