Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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