John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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