thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
