ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
