Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize
