I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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