And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
