I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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