he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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