I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
