just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
