there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
