I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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