i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
