You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
