I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
