Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
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He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
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We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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