I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
