Don't you send me to vm
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
now i know why i became what i already was.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
