oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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