Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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