giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
