Pants 0. Shit 1.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
