yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
