last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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