Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
