yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
