carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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