it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
