What did we do last night that was yellow?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
