After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
