would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
