My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
