i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
