I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
