Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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