Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
