I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
