I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
