We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
