stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
