After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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