i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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