I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
