:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
