She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
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I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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