But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
