I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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