I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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