she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
