He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
