so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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